It’s Monday morning and I am still in shock. I don’t think it has hit me yet that I won 3rd place. I’ve been kind of.. monotone about the whole situation. Competitions really fuck with your emotions and I am still trying to process how I feel about it all.
My reasons for competing this year was mainly because it was local and I didn’t have to travel far, but also the fact that I hated my competition performance last year and I wanted to do it again as another chance to do my best. It was a personal goal. And I did it.
I still made a lot of errors. My nerves were trying to get in the way but I kept fighting them. It wasn’t the audience I was afraid of this time. I felt fearless in front of people for the first time in my life. The only thing I was really afraid of was my grip.
Grip is like night and day. Some days you have it, other days you can’t stick to the pole if your life depended on it. Sometimes it’s something you just cannot control no matter how much grip aids you put on. The second I walked out on stage I touched the pole to 1, make sure it was the spinny pole and 2, to get an idea of how my grip is doing. The second I touched the pole I knew how it was going to be, slippery.
The poles felt hot! Being the fourth last person to perform that night out of 20 something performers never allowed the poles to cool down enough. This was also partly because the entire competition ran so smoothly that there were no interruptions so the poles never had a chance to cool down. This is bad for me. I always want a cold pole believe it or not. But whatever, it is what it is and you just have to adapt and deal with it.
My performance was definitely was better than last year, but still not my best. I still made a lot of sloppy errors that night. I remember I was going to do the tornado and I felt my grip slip for a sec and my leg didn’t come around properly and I hit the pole with my leg and for a split second I had to look up and catch the pole with my foot otherwise I was going to land on my head. I think I recovered myself very well though! I looked at the audience immediately with a smile in my next trick hoping that the judges didn’t notice but I’m sure they did. hahaha. My biggest problem under stress or with bad grip is that I rush through moves. There were times when I rushed things and times where I forced myself to slow down. There were a few times I could see my feet not properly pointed. I was going to do a dangerous bird as my finishing move on the pole but as soon as I hooked my leg I could feel that there was no way I could finish this move so I just came down sloppy and improvised. I didn’t like it but oh well. I still think I did great and made it up for last year’s shit show.
Because of how stressful competitions are, I kept telling myself over and over, ‘just have fun’. And I did of course! I love supporting the other competitors too. Everyone feels the same way you do and I hate the way I can feel sometimes so all I want to do is make everyone else feel better. The most heartbreaking thing about pole competitions is seeing the disappointment on the other competitors faces when they didn’t win. I can see how bad they wanted to win and I can tell how hard they worked for this. I just wanna give everyone medals! Everyone’s a winner for just being there! Everyone is unique and amazing in their own way! That’s how I think anyways.
I was pretty surprised when I was called for 3rd place. I was so surprised that I couldn’t move for a second and the next thing I know a medal is around my neck and I’m holding flowers. I was almost sad at moment too. I was sad for another pro girl that I secretly wanted to win. She is an amazing performer and so graceful. It was her first competition and she was really nervous and I could tell she was having doubts. I hugged her after and I don’t remember what I said to her but I didn’t want her to give up and I want her to compete again next year. She is so sweet and I like her and I hope to see her again.
First and second place winners wasn’t a surprise to me. Those girls are so bendy and so perfect at their skills! I know I’m not that far away from them now. After that night I feel like I could get first place some day.. at least for Ontario. I think it’s very achievable if I keep at pole. Maybe not next year, maybe the year after.. maybe who knows! Will I compete again? Most likely. I think I’m hooked!
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who helped run and organize this competition. It was a huge success for the Ontario pole community! Thank you Mary for hosting the comp and organizing it. Thank you Fran for all your help with music and organizing. Shelley you are the best MC in the world! Thank you pole cleaners, you are extremely important in the comp. Thank you judges! Thank you audience for cheering for me. Thank you for letting me be a part of this!
All my dreams keep coming true.
Here’s a close up version Jeanie took. This one is better.
This is probably the most inspirational pole video I have seen in a while. This is probably the most drastic effects I’ve seen pole do to the human body. Sticking with pole dancing completely changes your physique! Holy crap look how jacked she is now! This is incredible. This is the truth! Pole dancing is probably the best way to lose weight and get jacked! I’m not lying! It’s THE BEST!
“And once I realized that I could do anything, there was this amazing sense of freedom and I just gave it my all.”
“I want to show you can feel good about yourself. And pole just makes you be this person you wanna be!”
Why you should never think about pole dancing while laying in bed trying to fall asleep at night…
I am a very visual person so I am always visualizing things in my head, particularly pole dancing. I often play out in my head different combos and routines and different things I’d like to try. Even when I’m listening to music, my mind drifts to pole and I’m thinking about different combos. If I’m training for a show, performance or competition, I’m always visualizing my routine in my head over and over. This helps me memorize it.
But.. Have you ever thought about pole dancing while trying to fall asleep? DON’T DO IT! It causes insomnia! I’m serious! Don’t think about pole dancing while trying to fall asleep. You won’t sleep. I have to tell myself, don’t think about pole! Don’t think about pole! LOL!
I don’t know what it is but, when I am visualizing combos or thinking about my routine, my body seems to think it’s actually performing at that very moment. My heart rate jumps sky high, my muscles go tense like I am actually working out. My hands get sweaty too. No this is not an anxiety attack. I’m not feeling anxious. This is different. My body just seems to respond as if I’m actually working out when I’m just visualizing.
Having an elevated heart rate won’t let you fall asleep a night so I have to think of something else. :p
I can sit here right now and think about a combination or my routine and my heart rate is already going up a little. It’s awesome.
I think I’m going to prank my doctor some day while she is listening to my heart. She’s gonna be like, WTF is going on in there! LMFAO! Oh I’m just thinking about pole dancing. I just thought of a new trick I want to try.
So have any of you pole dancers experienced this before… or am I just a crazy coo coo?Read More
I know I said last year that I would probably not compete again but… the competition is local!!!!!!!!! It’s in Milton! It’s only a half hour away from me, not 6 hours like Ottawa last year. And because it’s local, I wouldn’t have to stress finding sponsors or funding to go. I feel like this is an opportunity I could not pass. I am going to compete again! I am going to do it!
I applied for semi-pro this year like I did last year. Last year I was bumped up to the professional division but I didn’t think I was actually pro last year. I lacked flexibility, strength, dance techniques and pointed toes damnit! :p This year they changed the application process a little and they had mandatory moves for each division they wanted to see in the application video. Unfortunately I couldn’t do a couple tricks they were asking for so I assumed I didn’t qualify for pro this year. This is why I applied to semi-pro again. And guess what? I got bumped up to pro again! GASP!
Maybe I really am pro this year? Or maybe I’m just too hard on myself I donno. Whatever!
I’m up against the same talented ladies who won first and second last year. These ladies are extremely talented and I am no where near their skill level. Plus, they are contortionists and I can hardly do the splits. I don’t expect to place this year like I did last year so I’m just going to have fun and try my best. In my mind, I’m already a winner for just making the pro division. It’s like making the NHL to me. All my dreams have already come true. I’m not really interested in being the best pole dancer in Canada.
I’m just excited to see everyone again. It’s such an awesome experience. I can’t wait!Read More
Please note that it’s extremely difficult to pose and have a pretty face for the camera when you are performing your heart out. LOL! A lot of the time when I am training and doing tricks such as inverts, my face and neck often has veins sticking out. But Brian Thompson did a great job photographing the Vertical Love showcase.
I remember 4 and a half years ago going on youtube watching videos of the pioneers of pole dancing. I remember that I used to secretly wish inside that I could be strong like them and perform like they do….
Now I’m sharing a stage with them.
One of my pole friends put on her facebook status,
“4 years ago when I started pole dancing I wondered if one day I would get to share the stage with all these strong women. Tonight my dream came true.”
Yes hun, we are living the dream!
All I can say is THANK YOU Fran for organizing this event! Thank you Shelly for MCing. Thank you to the sound and lighting guy. I forget his name but he was such a nice guy! Thank you cleaning the poles, Pole Kittens! Jane, thanks so much for helping me with the start of my routine! She made sure to alert the sound guy when to start my song when I was inverted in a tuck at the top of the pole. Thank you all you acrobatic artists who made this event a beautiful night. Thank you pole celebs, Cleo, Amy and Karol for traveling far distances for our event!
I will update this when more videos upload!Read More
So I finally took my first suspension yoga class last Sunday. Why I never took this class before is pure stupidity! I should be taking this class regularly because it will greatly help my pole training. Perhaps it’s because I have no time for anything extra in my life. LOL! The class was on a day which was my only day in a week to sleep in so I was just too difficult to make it out to suspension yoga. But last Sunday I hauled my ass out to SASS and tried out suspension yoga, by Shanyn. Wow I’m so stupid for not doing this sooner! :p
For those of you who have never tried or heard of suspension yoga– basically suspension yoga is yoga but done aerially with the use of a hammock or suspension yoga swing. The best thing about suspension yoga compared to regular yoga done traditionally on the floor is that suspension yoga is way easier on your back! I don’t normally have back problems but lately I’ve been noticing some tightness in my back. And because I still suck in the flexibility department, regular yoga is such a turn off for me. Traditional yoga is uncomfortable and like torture for me and I just cannot get into it regularly. With suspension yoga, my back feels amazing, I feel much more relaxed, and I have way more success stretching and working on my flexibility!
After my first class taught by fully certified Shanyn Pollard of SASS, I’m sold! Suspension yoga is awesome! It greatly compliments my pole training! I never want to take a traditional yoga class again. I want to stick with suspension yoga. I may even buy my own suspension yoga swing some day.
Here is a video of Shanyn practicing.
ANYONE can do this! There are no fitness requirements. Some of the holds or moves may look tricky or hard but everything is progressive and Shanyn won’t throw you into something you are not comfortable with. I even found a few things challenging and I was not able to do a certain position but Shanyn has modifications for everything and she will show you an easier way to do something.
I cannot wait to take my next class!Read More
Firstly, I’d like to say thank you to Katie Green. Her heart is in the right place and she wants to make the world a better place for women and media by saving girls from going down the eating disorder road. But I don’t totally agree with her campaign ‘Say No To Size Zero’. In fact, I’m quite offended by it.
When I did have an eating disorder, my lowest weight was ‘way under 90 pounds’ (don’t wanna say what it was in case I trigger people) at 5 foot 3. I was definitely in the BMI range of 15-16. I was a size zero. Not surprising.
Now that I’ve put on weight in a healthy way and gained a huge amount of muscle, my weight is sitting around 115-118 pounds these days give or take. My BMI is around 20. But guess what? I’m still a size ZERO! Maybe smaller! GASP! Surprised now?
I swear I am no longer anorexic. If you look at my naked body, it screams MUSCLE! People suffering from anorexia would not have the muscle mass that I have. I have very little body fat but my regular periods prove I don’t have too little body fat. If you don’t believe me, check out my pole dancing videos. That should be enough proof that I am not anorexic anymore. People with anorexia cannot do what I do and there’s no way I could do what I do if I was still anorexic.
So why am I still a size zero? Because I HAVE A SMALL FRAME! My hips are narrow, like really narrow! My rib cage is small. I’m just small boned all around. This isn’t my fault! I was born this way. I would have to eat unhealthy to put on body fat the wrong way to take me out of size zero.
My small frame does not cause eating disorders. Size zero models are not the problem. And by banning naturally smaller framed girls is discrimination. Period.
Sorry Katie but your size zero problem is not really the problem. The problem is sexism, society, media and the modeling industry.
Stop saying no to size zero models and say YES TO ALL BODY SHAPES AND SIZES!
The real problem is The modeling industry has a DIVERSITY PROBLEM! They only allow a certain look into this industry. If the modeling industry was diverse and if the modeling industry celebrated all shapes and sizes, then women who are trying to get into this industry would not be doing drastic unhealthy things to make their bodies unnaturally thin when their bodies weren’t meant to be thin. Instead, we should be seeing all kinds of women in runway shows and women feeling comfortable in their own skin. If the modeling industry celebrated diversity, then young teens looking at vogue or other magazines would not feel pressured to be thin because thin models would be a small percent. Teens would see more average diverse bodies in magazines and would think whatever their own body looks like must be okay!
I wanna see curvier women in Victoria’s Secret. I want to see flat chested women. I want to see muscular women. I want to see runway model’s thighs rub together. I want to see a booty! I want to see women with stretch marks and some cellulite. I want to see strong empowered women!
If we saw all kinds or women in the modeling industry, then every woman in the modeling industry would not be starving themselves to be a size zero because size zero models will be a small small percent. While naturally super thin girls do exist, they are still a small percentage.
By the way, the BMI scale is out dated and not a proper health indicator tool. But that’s another rant for another day…
Katie Green + Say No To Size Zero = FAIL!Read More
So a couple weeks ago I was playing around at SASS studio and I accidentally slid into this! Ta-da!
I’ve asked around if anyone has seen this before. I asked on Facebook and on Studio Veena but I didn’t find any information about this trick.
I got into this from a pencil and then I straddled. I hooked one foot onto the pole and I released my bottom hand and arched to grab my foot. The main contacts on the pole is a death grip in my foot and a tight grip with my dominate hand. My back maybe touching the pole but doesn’t give support.
If you want to try this trick but you are struggling, try the dangerous Brian trick first to build up strength in your foot.
Perhaps in the near future once I’ve mastered this too, I’ll create an video tutorial.
So has anyone else seen this trick? Does it have a name?Read More
(Opinion) I’m so glad winter is almost over. It was a brutal winter. It was so dark and so cold and I think I saw the sun like.. twice in the last few months?
This winter validated I don’t belong in the North and belong somewhere hot and sunny. I’ve always suffered on and off with anxiety and depression but this winter was constant! Since December I’ve felt this heavy weight on my shoulders. I felt this constant negative humming in my brain. It was depression that just wouldn’t lift and give me any break. It was constant for months! I think I had a severe case of seasonal affective disorder. I hate winter! AHHH! I wanna live where there’s sun all year round! I was so depressed this winter I couldn’t even celebrate my 30th birthday. I was so depressed that I just laid in bed for days/weeks and cried. I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. I donno what I’d do without my hubby. He is my constant strength in my life. He’s always there for me. He is the only person in the world that has always been there for me! Sometimes I think he doesn’t ‘get’ mental health only because he has not experienced it or know anyone that goes through it. But he never gives up on me, even when I give up on my self.
My health this winter also sucked. I was sick since my first pole competition end of September that lasted a couple months. Then I had about a week relief but then I got sick again for another 5 weeks. I think I was healthy for a week out of the entire winter. WTF! I haven’t been in this poor health in a few years!
Coincidentally for the first time in 10 years I stopped tanning in moderation. I went 6 months without the sun or UV lights touching my skin. Coincidentally I was not taking as many supplements as I used to. All I was taking about about 5000IU of D a day, probiotics and some omegas. I really don’t think this is enough. During those couple of years where I wasn’t getting sick– I was tanning, I was taking greens, berry antioxidants, a super strong multivitamin, D, B, omegas, and I had done some expensive detoxes. Coincidence? No I think not. Now you may disagree if you want but I truly believe a diet super high in nutrition prevents sicknesses. I know tanning had a huge effect too.
So I went tanning about 3 times now in 2 weeks and my eczema cleared up. For the first time in 10 years I broke out in eczema! Vitamin D deficiency? I think so!
Because this winter sucked so bad, I didn’t workout as nearly as much as I wanted to. I hardly practised for my pole performances. I did very little activity in between. I tried to eat as healthy as I could but of course I don’t think it was enough. My summer abs somewhat disappeared. I know they are still there and just hiding under some fat. But that’s okay. I’m totally okay with that and I don’t really care! LOL! I’m still pretty fucking ripped for 30 years old! Oh and I finally got the splits for my 30th birthday. That was a real treat!
In the last week I feel my energy coming back a little. I have been doing some home workouts and getting back onto that pole! I’ve started running again with my dog when the weather isn’t shit. I ran just over 5K this morning. I have a big pole performance coming up in June in Hamilton at the Lyric Theatre. VerticaLove Presents The Canadian Pole Dance & Artistry Showcase June 14th and 15th. I’m not sure which night I’m performing yet.
I’m really excited for this spring and summer because there is soooo much going on in my life. Pole, working out, running, work, doing some other side jobs (home renovations). Awesome.Read More